My Journey
I’ll never forget the day I realized I wanted to be an actress. I was 11 years old and had just finished watching the movie, Selena. I remember sitting there glued to the screen, and being so inspired by Selena’s story and the way Jennifer Lopez brought her to life. But one of the key things I remember is the way Jennifer Lopez made me feel with her acting skills and portrayal of the iconic legend. All the beautiful moments that touched my heart in some way, whether they made me laugh or cry my eyes out with the box of tissues next to me-was something special.
I’ll also never forget the feeling I had and the thought that came to my mind. “I want to make people FEEL something, the way JLO just made me feel”….I thought it was so amazing how actors could take a story and a character and bring it to life in a way where we watch and truly FEEL connected to them and the story being told. I call it one of my “epiphany moments”. That’s when the dream was initially born. And from that day on, until several years later, it remained just that-more like a fantasy, if I’m being really real. Being an actress SOUNDED amazing and the thought of it sparked a fire inside me I had never felt. But for a long, long time, I thought it was way too big of a dream. And I let those thoughts tell me “that’s just not something that “someone like me” can do”, till I finally realized my self worth and capabilities years later and went for it.
I say “someone like me” because I felt with my upbringing-growing up poor, no connections, not having an “in” in some way to the industry-it just seemed so far- fetched, and like something that could never be a reality for me. Not to mention the “not feeling good enough or pretty enough” part. I had a lot of self-love and growth to go through.
After high school I did what were “supposed to do” and I tried the whole “college thing” It wasn’t for me. I honestly, hated school (I hate admitting that-but it’s true) I bartended/waited tables and went on to work in several different work fields and in every single one, I never felt fulfilled, and I knew something was missing.
I was 23 years old and about to close on my first house. I was doing my first round of the Miss GA USA pageant and I lost my job a week before closing. I had been working on myself and was starting to come out of my shell. I finally had gotten more confident in who I was and what I had to offer. I did some modeling and was itching so badly to try the whole “acting thing.” I had made some friends who were in the industry, and I’d be behind the desk at my day job, wishing I could be going to the classes and auditions I’d see them post about. My job was super strict. And with my schedule, attending auditions wasn’t an option (they’re almost always during the day, during the week and I was stuck at work) So when I lost my job, although it felt like a nightmare at the time, it was actually one of the biggest blessings in disguise.
I went back to waiting tables. And with my then, new flexible schedule, I had no excuse to not finally give acting a shot. So, I did. The very first thing I ever did was an extra job on the movie The Fast and The Furious 5. When I found out I booked the extra role, you would have thought that I booked a lead in The Hunger Games. Lol I laugh at it now, but remembering those moments always make me smile, and remind me of all the growth and how far I’ve come since.
Working that extra gig was another turning point. I had another one of my “epiphany moments” I’ll never forget it. We were outside, under a bridge. It was 5 am, and the sun was starting to rise. Vin Diesel and The Rock were doing a super intense scene. And as I sat there and intensely watched them, I got that feeling again. The same feeling I got when I watched Selena. And the same thought crossed my mind, “I want to make people FEEL something.” And in that moment, I knew I wanted to be in front of the camera bringing scenes to life. I wanted to be more than an extra (not that there is anything wrong with it at all-they are vital to bring the scenes to life) But I wanted to be a LEAD. The next day I signed up for an acting class and the journey officially began.
When I officially decided to go for it-let me tell you-I WENT FOR IT!!! I did every class I could find, attended every casting director workshop I could afford. I was on every casting site, checking multiple times a day for roles that I fit, to submit to. I didn’t miss a single audition or opportunity. If I felt like I could learn or grow from it, or, add to my reel or make a new connection-I did it-and I gave it my all. I worked for free, $50 a day, $100 a day-you name it. I was HUNGRY. And I was DETERMINED.
The first 2 years in, I didn’t do too bad. I was able to sign with a top Atlanta agent, booked a recurring role on BET’S The Game, and got some indie films under my belt. But when I decided to take the Meisner class, at the Rob Mello Studio-my life was forever changed. I looked back at the first two years and was like “what the f was I doing?!” In Rob’s Meisner class (I should say “program”) I did all 4 levels, and with breaks in between classes, it was almost a year process. But once I was done, I was a whole new actress. I discovered my “process’ and my confidence was the highest it had ever been. I felt unstoppable.
I went on to book several co-star, supporting roles and commercials. The bookings would get bigger and better and eventually, the Atlanta casting directors knew me, trusted my work, and I’d get requested quite often for bigger and better roles.
For the next 6 years or so, I booked pretty consistently. And when I say consistently, I mean-a booking probably every 2-3 months on average. I was still bartending and definitely didn’t make enough to pay my bills with acting (if anything it was another expense lol) But I felt really good with where things were going and felt like that “big role” was on the way soon. Then, in 2016, I had a great year. I booked more than I ever had, and the roles were getting juicy where I felt like I really got to show my “acting skills” and I just KNEW-something huge was right around the corner……..But then…..things took a turn…..a major turn-SOUTH.
Before I knew it, a year had passed. It was 2017, and when I looked back at the last year, I had a year of NOTHING. Not ONE booking. No availability checks-it was dry. And I was like “what the heck is happening?” I turned 30 that year. And I remember my 23-year-old self, thinking, “by the time I’m 30, I’ll be a series regular, a full-time working actress, far away from bartending, and at that next level of my career.” And out of all the years up until that point, it was actually the WORST year of my acting career.
I had gotten to a point where I was miserable being a bartender. I was over it and ready for something new. Of course, I wanted my next “career choice’ to be BEING A FULL TIME ACTRESS, but with us having no control over whether or not we book- I knew I had to figure something out.
I fell into a depression. And for the first time in my acting journey, I started questioning if maybe acting wasn’t for me. That had NEVER happened. Through all the years of rejection, hearing no after no-I never let it get to me. My mindset was “its ok, keep going, it’s coming, keep pushing Erica, you’ve got this!” And that wasn’t what I was thinking or feeling anymore. And let me tell you-that scared the living hell out of me. I felt so lost and confused. Hopeless. I didn’t know what to do or where to start.
I ended up quitting my bartending job and went to New York for 2 months for episodic season in August. I think inside I had these high hopes that something great was going to happen. I hoped and thought I was going to come back to Atlanta with a great booking or two, and that would be my sign to keep going, and give me that validation I needed to believe that acting was STILL for me. But that didn’t happen.
I got back home in Atlanta from New York not only jobless, but I had spent a chunk of my savings while I was there, came home with not a single booking, and felt more insecure than ever about where I was at and what to do next. I ended up getting a job at a mortgage company as a loan officer. And then, to my surprise, things took a pleasant turn.
I ended up quitting the mortgage company on the 3rd day because my manager told me I couldn’t pursue acting if I was going to work there. I ended up getting an availability check for a movie and a director call back for a recurring role and the fire lit up again. After quitting that job, it’s crazy to think how things changed so quickly. I ended up booking a recurring role on The Resident, my first guest star role on Ozark, and started the new year off as a lead in a movie.
From that point on, I started booking consistently. I felt great with how things were going. I honestly, felt like I passed the “test” God gave me, and now I was reaping the blessings. Fast forward to September 2018, and I booked my first series regular role on Last Call, a sitcom that aired on Bounce TV. Then literally the last week of filming, I found out I booked my next series regular role on Ambitions. I literally felt like I was living a dream.
My role, Bella Tru, on Ambitions was a dream role. I got to work with actor friends I’ve had for years. It filmed in Atlanta, so I didn’t have to travel and got to be close to friends and family while working on the show. It was the best experience of my life. And we all thought, we would go on for multiple seasons.
But unfortunately, in January of 2020, we found out the OWN network decided not to renew the show for another season. I’ll never forget the day Will Packer called my phone. I was in a parking deck, parking my car, about to meet a friend for lunch. I was devastated. Shocked. Couldn’t believe it. Our ratings were good, even double compared to other shows that got renewed. It just didn’t make sense. But again, I reminded myself, I have to trust God’s plan. He knows what he’s doing, and there must be something better on the way.
Thankfully, after having two series regular roles on my resume, I was able to sign with an amazing LA agent and manager. In March 2020, I went to LA for pilot season, with hopes of booking my next big role. I thought it would all make sense and I’d understand that Ambitions getting cancelled was for the best when I booked that next gig, but that didn’t happen.
I got home from LA, just like New York-jobless, feeling lost and confused. But then, our world went into a pandemic and “Depressed Erica” made her return. All of 2020 and up until now, I dedicated my time to researching, studying and trying to figure out what was next. I still audition all the time, and I’m so grateful I have an amazing team that believes in me and get me great auditions. That next big gig hasn’t come yet, but I know it’s on the way. And when it comes, it’s going to be HUGE. I feel it. But for now, I’m putting all of my focus in Pretty Obsessed and trying to grow it to the vision I have for it
I will always be an actress at heart. It fulfills me in a way that nothing else does. And I pray that I have a long fruitful career ahead of me that’s bigger than I even envision. But one thing I’ve learned over the years, is to never leave all your eggs in one basket. We need to always do at least a few things that fulfill us in a special way, while also having multiple streams of income(especially these days.) So until my next “big role” comes along, I’ll be giving my all to Pretty Obsessed. I’m equally as passionate about it as I am with acting but in a different-special way. And I can’t wait to bring every single vision that I have for to life.
Whatever career field you’re in, if you’re going through a hard time, keep pushing. I know we get tired of hearing it, but it is facts. When we put in the work, and stay persistent and consistent, it’s inevitable, that the success will come. It doesn’t always come WHEN we want. We just have to trust the process and enjoy the journey. Because every step along the way molds and shapes us for the major blessings that are on the way. We just have to BELIEVE it. We’ve got this! Let’s do it!!
My Resume and Reel
I began my acting career in 2010. And 10 years in I finally booked a series regular role, and my life was a DREAM for two years straight.
The only thing holding you back from your dreams and living the life you want, are the limitations you put in your mind that stop you from going for them.
~Erica Page~
